Hey, my Name is Big Chief Random Chaos aka Paul Craig and I would like to announce that I will be standing as a candidate in the up coming general election on behalf of the Irish Monster Raving Loony Party. And while this party doesnt exactly exist in reality ( yet), it exists in the mind of 10's of 1000's of people living in Ireland, 100's of dogs and 2 chickens living in Mayo, they just dont know it yet
I will be running in the Dublin South East constituency.
Why Dublin South East? Because thats where Michael McDowell (McDool) does be, and I might aswell try and put a smile on his face...an impossible task..but hey ya got to have a challenge.
Why am I running?
Because I want to move to Leinster house to see how the crazy people live.
Who is Big Chief Random Chaos?
Some know me as Chief, some know me as that freak, that wierdo.
Some know me as that guy dancing in - euh what is that stuff.
Some know me as Paul and one even knows me as Dad.
Im a lucky loony and I want to give something back
I believe that we should be able to vote by text a member of the Dail as the 'Slimy One of the Week' The slimy on shall be made stand outside Leinster house, wearing a Pinnochio-like nose where passersby can laugh and shout things like 'YOU - You know what you did withe your crazy glasses and nazi salutes'.
I believe that we should be paid for our waste. Waste in this country is big business and we freely hand over items such as tin, paper and glass - items that have a value and we should get a part of it. People living on the steets could collect Tin and paper and bring them to specially constructed bring banks throught the city and exchange them for cold hard cash
And on the subject of lost waste, you know the way methane is an energy source, I believe that we should have F.A.R.T. Banks (Flatualent Air Retrevieval Tanks). Places where we can utilise our normaly wasted personal gases. We could even put a special on at the base of the spire which could fuel a giant flame out of the top. And nobody can argue with this one fact: we will have them created one of the most unique and remarkable tourist attractions the world, yes the world, has yet seen.
As the OMRLPI is the party party we want 24 hour pub and nightclub licencing. Letting drunken nutters out on the streeets at the same time is exactly how it sounds - nuts. And besides sometimes I just want to dance and dance and dance - and then dance some more.
I believe we should lower the voting age down to the age where we can first draw an X and count to ten. Its time we listened to children and besides something interesting might happen
Comments (20 of 20)
Jump To Comment: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20It's interesting the way the illustration on this article changes when you look at it as a thumbnail on the newswire.
The even notice for the FF ard fheis was the same. I wonder why...
its also intersesting the way chickens look at ya
and its also interesting how McDoll (meant to spell it McDool - but kinda like McDoll ) anyway it'l be interesting to see the way McDoll will react to my nice new dress on election nite - i think il fart next to him and then try and pass the blame
Why do people rehash shite for the US and Britain?
We have a many raving monsters in Irish politics.
Frankinstein
Son of Frankinstein
ah but its about highliting the shite - through the medium of shite I admit -
is the loony party any less relevant than the PDs for example - who of the two would you prefer to have a say in the running of things
and while I can see your point about frankenstein and son of frankenstein I think you'l find they are nutters not loonies
bigchiefrandomchaos I think you should expect a phone call from Richard Boyd Barrett in the near future asking you to join the People Before Profit alliance of candidates for the election you will fit in well with them!
dont know much about them - do they like cheese
Jaysus, I'd say McDowell is shitting himself
I wish to make it clear that this groupo is NOT aligned to the Workers Looney Party, a part of the People Before Profit (non socialist) Save Our Y Front Campaign/Allliance (Officials) Campaign for an independent Left Slate.
They are simply running dogs of imperialist forces, intent on enforcing American Rule in Ireland and stopping us getting Brid Smith elected. Shame on you Big Chief. You're probably a Provo.
wouldnt it be great to actually get him to shit himself on election night - some sort of laxative - or get him to to shake my shitty hands (a la Mall Rats) causing gastroenteritis
I'l have you know we are aligned to the Workers Looney Party, they just dont know it or appreciate it - we love them and they love us in a dirty sort of way
be great craic entirely. Mighty. Mighty. Aren't you very funny all the same?
i'l have to follow him to the toilets and see if hes alright - I could be banging on the door saying "Are ya okay Mr McDoll are ya okay" - that should cheer him up
Aren't we SOOOOO lucky to have YOU to save us from McDowell??
nobody can save us from him - especially me with my probable 4 votes
you'll actually make him look good
is that even possible??
and you're giving it a good shot, fair dues Chief!
he'l only ever look good in the eyes of those with no heart!! and maybe some lizards - i'l take that back - horribly insulting to lizards - not parasitic enough
Holey Moley,
I hope the cake was nice....
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