Introducing Julia

international | politics / elections | other press Friday February 04, 2005 22:29 by o as if

Little Miss Tymoshenko of the Orange Party of Ukraine has become the new PM

You might remember Julia from the Interpol alert put out back in the 1990s when everyone worth their salt was on the "find 'em drag 'em in and lock 'em up" list put out from sneaky HQ Belgium.

She served a short sentance for being framed in relation to corruption charges and weapons procurement.

have you gone through the f***ing door yet?

After that, she grew her hair a bit longer, it was still chestnut brown though, just like in her young days in the Youth Communist wing Ukraine Branch.
(Bolshie bi ulaimh crew go out the bog and shoot at sheep type thing and learn the band songs)

Then things began to change.

She put in streaks. Blonde ones. And slowly ascended the ladder of precarious Ukranian politics to take her place next to Victor (the one with the Ukrainian surname) during the Orange Revolution last year, when the Victor (the one with the Ukranian surname) [who was poisoned with agent orange] {but not enough to kill him just make everyone ask questions} took to the streets of Kiev (who some can draw on the back of a napkin) [ recycled paper serviette probably in ancient greek ] and brought in the Orange Revolution just about the time that Rev. Dr. Mr. Paisley refused cooked food at the Diplomatic legation of the Republic of Ireland to the Court of St. James (coz he was worried about being poisoned).

Anyway, Julia is now PM.
She has long blonde hair, in a fashionable sort of retro-tress which reassures everyone and has all the right qualifications on her CV to sort out the economic problems of the Ukraine which are -
Mafia Mafia and Mafia.

Of course Julia having been on the wanted list by sneaky Belgian Interpol will know all about the Mafia.

And she has signalled a willingness to go on using pyroxide, flaunting that cute little nose and working with Russia led by Mr Kurichyan of UNCLE and Cousin Xian of China in the fight against Mr Bush who takes credit for the whole oreange revolution in the first place, and apparantly wants to honour his commitment to the "super rich" of the USA in revaluing the currency of both China and the CCCP sorry Russia at the next round of talks which you'll remember coz you're good at remembering Lula will also be attending and is scheduled to take his shoe off @

Julia is quite happy with the "little princess tag" and looks forward to being a "nordic blonde" type pin-up with the troglydyte neo nazis and wanky types throughout the eastern and central block of Europe and getting more pages of "hello!" than Condolence Rice.

Meanwhile on the other side of reality...

please realise you are not digital creatures.
it might seem like really high tech and make your life easy, but it is *very* important you remember you are a monkey.

Give your records a spin.
Read your books.
Have a dance.
Basta!
Dinero Gratis!

( I suppose this will get edited its not rational enough)