Cornering the Beast

national | rights, freedoms and repression | other press Thursday June 15, 2006 12:22 by Erica - /

Re-visiting the Spectre of Domestic Violence.

You are sitting in an apartment one flight of stairs above the scene of a
'Domestic Violence' incident. You are aware of the woman who lives in the apartment below and that she has a small child who trick or treated you at Halloween.
Now you are witnessing the sounds of an attack on that woman.

Do you: a) Go down the flight of stairs and ask if she needs help- Which she obviously does.
b) tell yourself, that the 'dynamic' between two lovers is something one
should not interfere in.
c) Call the authorities.
d). hope she is ok and mention in passing (the next day) that you
heard something, did not wish to intervene and chuck the
big-eyed two-year old under the chin.

In my case : option d) was adhered to .

Revisiting the first paragraph of the statement (above). The woman
lived alone with a two year old child and you were aware that the child
was asleep in the next room.

At what point is intervention in a scene of violence necessary?

A decade later , I am witness to a similar situation.
This time on the other end of a mobile phone.
This is true helplessness.

Chemistry:
When confronted with a situation in which a friend is victimised , through
domestic bullying, threat of rape or fear. You:
Talk to her.
Ask her what is making her afraid.
Is it possible for her to get away from the situation or is the exit
barred?
Is it barred because she is being victimised or because there is a
physical presence actually blocking her escape?
Take instruction from the person who needs your help-
such as - Call the Gardai now.
Make sure you give the Gardai necessary access codes, phone numbers
in the case of children: have a school contact number and
someone who can hold the child until the parent is free.
LISTEN.
TALK THEM THROUGH IT.

Violence against a partner, casual lover or accquaintance is
always wrong, whatever sex. Self-defence in a situation of
physical violence is always justifyed.

Simple things to remember: If He had access to your building
ask for the code to be changed.
Change the lock on your door.
inform intimates that you are afraid of this person and why.
Never feel ashamed that you have been subjected to a situation in which
you are the victim.
As the Victim, you have the right to:
Press Charges.
Confront your attacker in a safe place about how you were made feel.
a right to a good relationship where you can re-build trust.
an awareness that not all relationships between men and women, (or any lovers)
is based in power and domination.

This is the hardest one_ GOOD LUCK.

Links to be published later.