Sr Stanislaus Kennedy

by Damaged Wed Jul 01, 2009 07:48

Not sure where on a scale of 1-10 Sr stanislaus stands. She's likely not the worst by a long shot at all I'd say. This smacks somewhat of a smear job on a slightly more radical member of the clergy. Perhaps she is guilty of not speaking up enough.But in our society aren't we all on so many things

But as for saying to these people (the abusers) that god is watching. what a joke. Do you honestly think people like this believe in a benevolent god taking care of mankind. Not a bit of it. They just recognise a weakness and a need in the human psyche and like some nasty parasite, they burrow in and exploit the situation for their own ends, be it power, or sex or money. Nihilistic sociopathic predators one and all. They themselves don't actually believe in the nonsense they peddle to manipulate their victims.They don't believe in fairy stories, except possibly as a pretext for getting close to innocent partially clothed child victims at bedtime. Maybe before raping them.

The only thing they fear is exposure, losing their power and having their money confiscated. Thats why the "holy orders" are all moving it into offshore trusts and also why they worked with "malleable" politicians to conveniently slip in a bill just before they left office to let the victims pay for their own systematic abuse. That reveals the true cynical value system of these orders. Berties apology was a cynical ploy too. A deft exercise in pretence to sway the public into accepting it was the states fault so they would then have to accept the bill for their own abuse. Just think....If there are people out there working having been abused in the past, some of their tax money is being taken, because of bertie and his ilk and their deal with the religious orders, and that tax money is being used to help get other abusers off the hook. That is just not right.

I abused nobody. Why should I pay a cent for it. The primary school properties held by guilty religious orders should be transferred into state control in repparations for incalculable social crimes, and such these organisations should no longer have access to our children again.They have proven themselves unfit.

I have had personal experiences with abuse. I was victim of regular mental and physical abuse all through childhood by my mother and came out the other end a damaged and dysfunctional human being whilst my abuser is considered a pillar in the community, someone who people let mind their kids. Abusers are very canny and are often adept at maintaining an outward persona for society while they abuse. I know many people who are victims of maternal abuse but it is a topic not often broached except in high profile cases like the roscommon case or the mother killing her children by driving into the sea.

Clerical abuses are only the tip of the iceberg. We focus disproportionally on well meaning teachers and sports facilitators etc, probably because of the olympic swimming debacle, whilst the majority of daily dysfunctional abuses continue on submerged until such a time as we dispense with the assumption that parents automatically care about their kids.

If it wasn't for the outlet provided by well some well meaning altruistic people providing sporting opportunities for children, I think I would have had nothing worth living for in my youth. Those were different times.
Now the level of scrutiny on such well meaning people makes it a vulnerable thankless position less and less sensible people would want to put themselves in except ironically perhaps a higher proportion of those predators with stronger motivations other than joy in their sport and darker alterior motives.

Apologies if All this is somewhat off the point, but I think that an important point that may end up being overlooked yet again is that the problem of abuse will not go away until parenting improves. You need a degree to take a piss in this country or get even quite menial factory jobs, but the only qualifications you need to be allowed to do the most difficult job in the world is an overactive sex drive and five minutes of your time in the back of a car. Until that ridiculous and highly illogical state of affairs persists children will be brought into the world with alarming regularity and little forethought to be ignored and brought up by the creche and tv and a diet of video games and celebrity in a moral vacuum if they are lucky. Abused if they are not.

How about a FETAC parenting course being made mandatory for all budding parents. If you fail, ideally you get a complimentary vasectomy or equivalent or less effectively, large tax or social welfare penalties. (hey, improve the economy as well as improving the quality of parenting. win win scenario!). Might focus people's minds a little more on the most important job they will ever do. Bringing up their children well.

And to bring my ramble back to the topic in hand, that of child abuse by predators, I think that any documentaries I have seen or anything I have read on the subject and my own personal experiences and those of quite a few others I have met bear the following fact out:
that Well brought up children are not easy prey for predators.
They tend to go after the troubled damaged and vulnerable ones.

I suggest that going after the orders is only one part of the solution to child abuse. Good parenting is another necessary part. We cannot rely on this to be done without some state guidance and penalties. You can't sell food in a saturday market without adhering to regulations and stiff penalties from the state. Why is it taken on good faith that you can be trusted to be a good parent. And don't say the HSE are dealing with this. they are not. I could go out and order a coffin for my kids then kill them before those guys take action and the gardai would only turn up if they thought you were a shell to sea protester or guilty of a fineable traffic offence.

by Louise Sun Jul 12, 2009 17:01

What a brilliant post from 'damaged'.

I hope life is better for you now.

Yes, parenting is a really hard job. I have nearly finished raising four children.

Why do we hand out money to 'single' parents regardless of their ability to perhaps make a reasonable attempt at parenting. Better to look at each parent on a case by case basis. A friend of mine told Social welfare she did not know who was the father of the child and they accepted this and paid her. Now of course she knew but did not want him approached for financial support even though he was relatively well off.

And why are couples married or not also supported financially when they continue to have more children than they can afford.

Parenting courses should be mandatory before you are pregnant.

by Damaged Sun Jul 12, 2009 17:46

Bad parenting is NOT UNIQUE TO PEOPLE RECEIVING SOCIAL WELFARE!!
ALL potential parents should have to achieve honours in a stringent parenting course, regardless of their status or income. Just because you pay the creche to bring up your little "status symbols" or sit them on front of an expensive tv / video game / computer, doesn't mean you are a good parent or give a rats ass about your kids.

Some of the best parents are probably poor people who spend time talking to their kids. Some of the worst are probably high powered career parents who are so busy trying to get it all for themselves and show everybody how rich they are that they hardly see their kids, hardly talk to them and probably wouldn't notice it if you swapped their kids for somebody elses!!

My post applied to all classes, and was not meant to be used as just tanother stick to beat the poor with. A single example should not be used as reason enough to generalise over a whole sector of the population. That is a standard fallacious argument - going from the particular to the general. Doesn't hold water at all.

Sure there are nihilistic sociopathic uncaring assholes exploiting the system, leaving a swathe of carnage in the lives of people wherever they go. But imagine what could be done with all that money that we are giving to all those rich banker sociopathic assholes exploiting the system and how much education for prospective parents that could bring? ?(not to mention the swath of carnage their recent activities have left in their wake!!) The real white collar criminals always seem to get away with it while we always seem to attack the disadvantaged dole scrounger.

I can't change the way society works but I can object to my thoughts and arguments being used to perpetuate this blinkered stupidity.

Louise, thanks for reading my post but please look a little deeper into things before you jump to your conclusions. And if you still feel the same way then please, leave me out of your divisive attack on the disadvantaged. Thank you.

respectfully yours
Damaged (occasional dole scrounger and occasional corporate slave but still a good person I hope!)

by Abuse Tue Jul 28, 2009 08:17

Damaged

Your post makes some very valid points.

I think your right the second form of abuse was not having recognition, and that has always been controled by power and this power has to be broken in a formal way.

The state seems very reluctent to take the step of viewing these people as criminals, suggesting that the individuals in charge of the state at one time in their lives may have felt the dominating force that was the catholic clergy.

What needs too happen to permit the individuals that covered up the abuse or whom whitnessed abuse but felt powerless to act, to come forward in a justure of truth recognition which may aid recovery for some ?

I'm not sure if any of them have come forward and said, yes I have whitnessed abuse, and no I did nothing.

Something needs to be done to show power taken away from the clerics and a commitment to uncover the truth.

by Pissed Tue Jul 28, 2009 22:33

The reason for singling out sr kennedy !

She in response to me suggesting I was harrased in Focus Ireland> I have no executive powers........

My intention stopping abuse !

Not alligation fact !

Personal experiience.

Result> It never happend> Result secondary abuse.

Being abused was not where the true damage for victims came from, the abuse came in us not permitting them to be recognised as having been abused.

We have not heard enough truth yet and we owe it to the abused to ensure that these a holes are made speak up.

DON'T STOP ASKING QUESTIONS AND FOR EXPLATIONS.

by Damaged Thu Jul 30, 2009 00:56

Like I said, she is guilty of not speaking up. Like so many others. But to my knowledge she did not directly abuse anyone. And unlike many of these religious bastards she has actually done at least SOME good in her time, aside from this particular lack of speaking out which she, of course, should have.

Because, with a few notable exceptions, we are a race of quite cowardly people, what this country really needs more than anything to get people to speak out is some serious whistleblower legislation and protection so the whole rotten edifice of banks, church, politics, courts, land law enforcement can be cleaned out from top to bottom. Not a lot of chance of that though when the people responsible for enacting it are the very ones that don't want to be unmasked.

by Abuse Survivor Thu Jul 30, 2009 01:12

There is serious need for legislation here in Ireland to protect whistleblowers.

Some do speak up and it ruins their own lives as a result.

Case in point - male supervisor working for Church harrassed woman working in the same building, had S & M porn and used her computer to send risque emails.

She and another female employee complained separately two weeks apart to the Parish Priest at the Church.

What happened? One of the whistleblowers was out of her job in less than two months and 4 years later is still fighting for her rights through the Courts and Tribunals.

She is STILL GLAD she stood up to the might of the Church and complained.

However the porn man stayed on in his job for a further two years giving an up yours to the ladies who complained about the abuse in the workplace.

The Parish Priest still won't admit HE was in the wrong to CONDONE the porn and keep the man working there while dismissing one of the whistleblowers.